Low-Cost Miracle Drink Burns Fat, Adds Muscle

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A mysterious, new, low-cost miracle drink called “milk” burns fat and adds gains.

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Seriously, don’t pay $4 for a glass of a GNC “Ultimate MAX Gains Bio-Elite Whey Formula” unless you’re competing in this years Mr. Universe.

New studies this year confirm that if you’re an average Joe looking to have a healthy body and a healthy bank account, then plain old milk is ideal for cutting fat, adding muscle, and bulking the size of your checking account.

Here’s the Study For the Curious

Mammals produce milk for the growth and development of their young.

mammals

It makes perfect sense that a blend of nutritional goodness specifically for growth and development would be a great “workout recovery drink”.

For 40 cents we can drink 12 oz. of milk. The fact that it is cheap obscures its hidden power – it is a substance with tens of millions of years of evolutionary selection backing it.

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With milk we let nature do the work for us over millions of years, and we reap the rewards for free.

Is milk perfect? Of course not, but studies now confirm what makes intuitive sense – milk has a great nutrient profile for post-workout recovery.

Camel Capital of the World Lies In the Outback

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Saudi Arabia imports its camels from Australia.

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It’s reasonable to think of camels roaming the deserts of the Middle East and North Africa, but the only country on Earth with wild camels is Australia.

It was not always this way; camels were introduced to Australia in 1840, and have become an incredibly successful invasive species with over 1,000,000 feral camels wandering the Australian Outback less than 2 centuries after the first mating pair was introduced.

dr seuss camel

It seems that camels were a natural fit to the Dr. Suess’ Zoo that is Australian wildlife. An animal that looks like it badly needs a chiropractor is a perfect addition to a world of koalas, kangaroos, seadragons, duck-billed platypus, thorny devils, the flying fox, wombats, emus, and a host of creatures straight out of Monsters Inc.

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The feral camels of Australia are considered a major pest, and the export industry exists as a profitable way of culling their population.

Death Star Stimulus Denied

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In late 2012, a petition was submitted to the White House website urging that the United States government build a real Death Star.

In early 2013, the proposal was rejected (in a tongue-and-cheek manner), citing that the overall cost of the Death Star’s construction would amount to a cost exceeding $852 quadrillion, and would take 833,000 years before it could even be ready for construction due to the rate of steel production. Another reason for the rejection was also because the Government “did not support blowing up planets.”

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